Laurie Ishii

These are some tracts I have written to eventually be printed and handed out… we are praying for a graphic artist or someone with computer skills who can format a good tract for the women we reach out to.

Does this sound like you?

One night, I met a man who told me I was very
attractive. He flirted with me and offered lots of
money to have sex with him. At first I was insulted,
One night, I met a man who told me I was very
attractive. He flirted with me and offered lots of
money to have sex with him. At first I was insulted,
but knew I couldn’t make that much money in a month
working my full-time job, so I took his business card.
I turned him down… that night.

Then one day at a mall, I met the most charming,
handsome man who I immediately fell in love with. He
told me I was beautiful and bought me clothes and
jewelry. He was the best boyfriend. Not long
afterward, he came home one night and suddenly began
beating me. I was scared and confused. I begged him to
stop. After he calmed down, he said, “I’ve just lost a
lot of money and things look bad. I’m sorry for
taking it out on you, but gotta make a lot of money
fast, or my life is over”. I felt guilty and didn’t
want anything to happen to him.

My mind was racing. Finally I told my boyfriend about
the man who’d offered to pay me for sex. I thought
he’d be upset, but was stunned when he grabbed and
hugged me and said, “I knew you really loved me. You
only have to do it a few times and then my debt will
be paid off”.

I called the man and when we met, I kept trying to
convince myself I wasn’t a prostitute. The whole time
my eyes were closed tight and prayed for it to be over
quickly. He was the first of many.

Four years later, I’m still selling my body for money.
I have become such a good actress, my clients actually
believe I enjoy having sex with them.

I still love my boyfriend, even though he’s got other
girls making money for him. He tells me I’m his bottom
girl, his best, since we’ve been together from the
beginning. He promises me that one day soon we’ll get
out of the Game, and sadly, I believe him. My soul
feels so empty. There are days all I think about is,
how can I end my life. Is this what I’ve been created
for? Is this my destiny?
It doesn’t have to be.

copywrite 2007 laurieishii

Or this…

When I was seven years old I was home alone with my
stepfather while mama was at work. He sat at the table
getting drunk and after a while he stood up and said,
“You little slut, you’re such a tease.” He got threw
me on the couch and started tearing off my clothes. I
tried to scream, but no one heard me.

This went on every time I was left alone with my
stepfather until I left home. I was so hurt and angry
I started doing drugs to numb the pain, sleeping with
any guy I met in the hopes I’d find one who really
loved me. One night I met a man who told me I was
beautiful and that he could make me famous.

I went with him to his apartment where he gave me
drugs. I felt so good. A very attractive woman came
over and after getting high together, she sat on the
bed next to me. I had never been with a woman before,
but it felt good when she began touching me. Deep
down, I really hated men.

The man began filming us, and I loved being in front
of the camera. He gave me a few hundred bucks
afterwards and said that he would keep on paying me if
I kept making movies like that. I loved the attention,
and people really admired me, having sex on camera.
Everyone knew who I was… although though after a
while, even I didn’t know who I was.

Now, years later – my insides are torn and scarred. I
have gotten so many different STD’s but at least I
don’t have AIDS‚Ķyet. I’m getting older, and although
I’ve had a lot of plastic surgery done ‚Äì I don’t know
how much longer I can do this. Younger girls who are
more beautiful seem to be taking my place. I’m tired,
and feel like a rag doll. How much longer do I have to
do this?

Will I ever find someone who loves me?

copywrite 2007 laurieishii

Or maybe this…

All I ever wanted was for my daddy to love me. I just
wished that even once, he’d hug me or tell me that he
loved me. But nothing I ever did was good enough.
Instead, he told me I was stupid and worthless. I
always seemed to make him angry, and then he would hit
me.

One night after everyone was asleep I was on my
parent’s computer and something about “hot ladies”
popped up. I clicked on it – and there were all these
pictures of naked women in all sorts of poses. I felt
ashamed and yet so turned on. But I couldn’t stop
looking at all the pictures.

These women were so glamorous and beautiful. I wanted
to be beautiful like them. On TV I saw women flirting,
seducing and eventually having sex with men. I began
imitating these women. By the time I graduated high
school, I decided that I would become a stripper. I
practiced dancing in front of my mirror and knew I
would be good at it. Men would want me and I could
control them.

I got the job at the first place I applied at. My
first time I was so nervous, I had to drink quite a
bit before getting up on stage. Once I got up there,
the men hollered and whistled. It felt so good to have
all these men look at me, all of them wanted to be
with me.

After stripping for a while, I started to realize that
the men I met didn’t want ME ‚Äì they just wanted to
have sex with me. I never found any man who really
loved me – they always seemed to want something from
me. Or someone prettier than me would come along and
they’d leave me.

All I’ve ever really wanted was for someone to love
me…

copywrite 2007 laurieishii

Or even this?

As long as I can remember, I’ve felt different.

One day when mama was at work and I was home sick in
bed, daddy came into my room. He was drunk and started
telling me that it was my fault for what he was about
to do. He got in my bed and started tearing off my
clothes. I tried to scream, but no one heard me. I was
only eight years old.

By the time I was a teenager, I started doing smoking
and doing drugs. I was so angry and became very
promiscuous. I left home one day and ran the streets
for a while, staying with one guy after another. One
day I met an older man who told me he could make me
feel like a movie star.

He took me to a bar, dark and smoky. He had me watch
these women up on stage dancing seductively and
eventually taking off their clothes, except their
underwear. I watched the way the men hollered at the
women and put money in their panties. The old man told
me that he would pay me good money if I could dance
like the women on stage.

I needed money and I didn’t think it was too bad as
long as I didn’t have to take off everything. It was
just like acting, I could close my eyes and pretend. I
actually liked it, as long as I was high enough. It
made me feel so sexy, so wanted and desired. I felt
like I could get any man!

One night after I got off stage, a man took me aside
and offered me money to go home with him. At first I
was insulted – I was a stripper, not a prostitute. But
then after thinking a bit ‚Äì I’ve always had sex with
so many men for free – why not make some money doing
what I liked?

It was okay for a while, but it wasn’t long before I
started feeling like a thing instead of a person – I
couldn’t find a man who just liked me for me -
ultimately they just wanted to get down my pants. I
longed or something more, I wanted to find a man who
really loved me for me, not for my body or looks. I’m
so sick of being worshipped or looked at like a piece
of meat.

Where can I find someone who will really love me?

copywrite 2007 laurieishii

God has a plan for your life. “For I know the thoughts
I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace
and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
(Jeremiah 29:11)

No matter what you’ve done, God will forgive you for
your sin: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and
just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all
unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

Have you confessed your sin to God? Have you repented
(turned away) from your sin? If you were to die
tonight, do you know where you’d spend eternity? “For
the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is
eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 6:23)

When you give your heart to Jesus, He will give you a
new heart and eternal life. “I will give you a new
heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from
you your heart of stone and give you a heart of
flesh.” (Ezekiel 36:26) “If anyone be in Christ, he is
a new creation. Old things have passed away, behold
all things have become new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

God loves you so much. “For God so loved the world
that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever
believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting
life.” (John 3:16)

By believing that Jesus died for your sins and
resurrected from death after three days – you will be
saved! “that if you confess with your mouth the Lord
Jesus and believe in your heart that God raised Him
from the dead, you will be saved.” (Romans 10:9)

Pray this prayer from your heart: Lord Jesus, I
believe that you died on the cross for my sins and
rose again, conquering death so that I could be
forgiven and have a new life. I confess that I am a
sinner and that I need you. Please forgive me and
cleanse me. I turn from my sin and will follow after
you for the rest of my life. Thank You God for
forgiving me and giving me new life. Amen.