Laurie Ishii

Man. This weekend was long. Getting up at 2am (to make hot chocolate) and picking Bobby up and going out on the streets till about 5am wore me out. It always has. My body usually takes a few days after the outreach to recover.Ever since I contracted the Hepatitis C virus – my health has seemed to steadily decline. I already suffered from Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Herpes 1&2 which all mess with a person’s immune system, so when first got the Hep C it didn’t make anything better! Before I was even diagnosed, I kept telling Daryl that something was wrong with me, I felt like I was dying inside. At least when I was diagnosed I knew that I wasn’t crazy – there was a reason that I felt so sick.It was so hard (and most of the time still is) to do even the simplest chores such as laundry, or doing dishes…so many times I rest during the whole week as to be ready feeling well enough to go out on the weekends. Many times I have to literally ‘psych’ myself up just to do a load of laundry. But if I had it my way, I’d go out every night and minister to people on the street and just sleep during the day! Maybe one day I’ll be able to do just that.I have a friend from Montana who I hadn’t spoken to for probably two years. He called me about two months ago and told me about a book he was reading called “The Hallelujah Diet” and he felt like God wanted him to send me a copy. So he got my address and mailed me the book. Well, I’ll be honest – I knew somewhat about the diet – basically Vegan. (All vegetables and fruit, no dairy or meat products) It didn’t sound very exciting to me, and definitely NOT to Daryl.The book sat on the shelf for weeks. Before Christmas, Daryl got pretty ill. It was a little scary, cause he hardly ever gets sick. He has had liver disease longer than I and has been totally asymptomatic (has no symptoms) until about the last six months. I on the other hand have been very symptomatic. I am nauseous much of the time – weak, fatigued, have diarrhea, throw up and am usually in pain, etc. But lately, he’s been sick too – and all through the holidays. This time I was taking care of him.I started reading the “Hallelujah Diet” book and wow. The testimonials are amazing, and I never realized how bad ‘dead’ (or cooked) food really is for our bodies. Anyway, I won’t start preaching about this diet, especially cause I haven’t finished the book yet – but Daryl and I have already started to eat better and we are gradually working our way into trying this diet.Being sick all the time really stinks! I’m tired of it. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m willing to try anything so that I can better worship and serve God with everything in me – that includes my body…this means a lot of DYING to my flesh/self (ouch) taking up my cross and following Jesus. It’s not about me anyway. It’s about God, and His purpose…Why I started writing about health and food I don’t know, but oh well. Anyways, I’ll get to why I started writing in the first place.This weekend I spoke with one of the pimps for some time, about certain ‘business’ apects of the prostitution business. See, I honestly truly can see and understand the business aspect – when I used to prostitute that’s all it was to me – a job. A way to make money, just like any other job. Only it’s not…but it took me a while to realize that. I was so desensitized…when I hear about how the business is run I seriously could see myself being a madam back when I was still in that business. I just couldn’t see myself having a pimp, that’s all. But I know I could have been one.There’s a lot of money to be made in the sex business, sad to say. People don’t realize what they are doing – either selling or buying sex. It takes a toll on you…and it gradually kills a part of you each time you compromise yourself…Anyway, this time was the first time that me and this pimp (or any, for that matter) ever talked quite so openly about his work. The diffculty for me now, is – knowing all that I know about the business…and the pain behind it all that most people don’t see…how do I communicate that to this to him? See, I know people who have been in the business, and even I myself has been in the business – and I know what it did to me – but he’s a guy, (a pimp, even) so of course it’s different for him. He’s not the one who’s selling his body out there.He was saying that the girls these days don’t even have to be ‘taught’ or ‘trained’ anymore – it’s as if they already know how to do the business. Well it’s not as if TV and Hollywood movies don’t show enough sleezy sex for anyone who watches to learn… I really need people to please pray for me, Daryl and the people we minister to. Even the girls I’ve met out there seem so desensitized and they seriously don’t think that what they’re doing is wrong. I was like that. It’s only God that can show them their sin.Please pray for us to have God’s wisdom and discernment and for sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. There aren’t a lot of people who actually minister to BOTH the prostitutes and the pimps out there. People think that it’s only the girls who are victims, and they just think that the pimps are these horrible evil animals. But I truly love the guys we minister to, and I know that God loves them even more. I believe that there is hope for anyone, no matter how much they seem to be a hopeless cause. As long as they’re alive, breathing and heart beating – there is hope – for anyone. With God, all things are possible!On another subject, I received an e-mail from the son of another pimp. I met him a while back on the phone – I was calling for his father and he answered. We started talking, and it was pretty interesting. If I remember correctly, he asked me how I knew his dad, and I told him that I ministered to pimps and prostitutes. The next day, I met him – as he and his dad and grandmother came to church. I didn’t get to talk to him much because he left before the service was over.Later on that day, he called me. He was pretty broken, shared some of his heart with me and allowed me to pray for him. He’s the whole reason I ever got a myspace! He had given me his http:// thing and since I’m so retarded with the computer I couldn’t find him and thought that the only way I could get in touch with him is to get a myspace, so I did. I am so happy I did! And he finally found me! Hallelujah. I have SO MUCH respect for this young man. He is doing such positive things for his life and he definitely is NOT following in his father’s footsteps. His father should be so proud of him.But my heart is broken. I can’t imagine what it was like for this young man to grow up as a child…children want to be proud of their father…what did he say when the other kids at school asked him “What does your dad do?” when his dad was a pimp…I can see how it has affected him. I see the pain that this whole business causes people. It may not be immediate pain – in fact at first it’s immediate, counterfeit pleasure. But the consequenses can be eternal. The devil is such a liar…Sin affects those around us. I see the way this father’s sin has affected his son, and I know that my sin affected SO MANY people – my parents, grandma, my ex-husband, my son and many of my good friends when I chose to walk away from God…Which is why now I want so badly to affect people in a way that will bring them closer to Jesus, to come to know God and have a relationship with Him.Sorry this is so long (as usual) but please, please pray for the people I mentioned in this blog.