Laurie Ishii

Praise God… this week I seem to be doing much better. Last week I felt hormonal and really – like psycho woman.

I have been reading this book by Dwight Edwards called “Revolution Within” – my friend Victoria gave me the book a few months back and while we were on the phone earlier this week she encouraged me to read it. So, when I got home I dug it out of the pile of books I have in the room and started reading. It has really been encouraging.

It is somewhat ‘basic’ in what he speaks about – our identity in Christ – but he explains it in a way where it is easily broken down and understandable. I can really identify with what he says. I’ve realized this past few days that I have been feeling so worthless and purposeless. I KNOW that this is not the truth and that it’s probably straight from the pit of hell – but hey, that’s how I’ve felt recently.

It’s as if – I have been in ‘performance mode’ – and I have subconsciously felt like if I’m not ‘performing’ for God that he can’t possibly love me as much. I know that’s dumb, but that’s how I’ve been feeling. Then I have pity parties for myself and that’s never good. I start looking at my circumstances, turn inward and ultimately focus on ME instead of Jesus – and that’s ALWAYS bad!

I also realize that God is trying to get rid of some CRAP inside of me – old habits and old ways of thinking…I realize that I am SO dysfunctional. Man! The way I handle some things – the way I cope and deal with some situations… sheesh. It’s funny cause over a month ago we were at City of Praise Church and the Pastor Timothy Alden prophecied over me and one of the things he said was that God was going to get rid of my dysfunction. Ha! It was funny because at the moment I thought to myself, “I’m not that dysfunctional” and now – it’s as if God pulled my covers and has shown me that YES, I am SO dysfunctional – so He can deal with it and put it behind me. We can’t get rid of something if we don’t even know that it’s there!

So the Lord is helping me deal with my issues…

Anyway, this Sunday I am speaking – or sharing my testimony and also sharing our vision for the ministry to the prostitutes and pimps – and just doing outreaches – at Reality LA. I really love Pastor Tim (Chaddick) who we met about two years ago when I shared my testimony at Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa. He came up and talked to me and shared that he and his wife felt called to Hollywood. They’ve now got a church that was literally started from scratch! Tim is very down to earth and he has such a heart for people – and even more importantly – a heart for God! He teaches straight from the bible, which is so refreshing.

This weekend my friend Jason and his band are supposed to be here too – I met Jason over 3 years ago while taking a short term missions woman from Arizona on a little ‘tour’ of Hollywood. We walked by this tattoo shop and Jason was standing out front smoking a cigarette. I felt the Lord tell me to go and talk to him about Jesus – so I told the woman I was with. She was like, “What? No you’re not!” (at the time Jason had a pink mohawk, tattoos and piercings all over – including his face) I told her that if she didn’t want to go with me that was okay, she could just wait for me until I was done. So she stayed back while I went and talked to him.

We became friends that day. I’d go by the tattoo shop with some of my friends and we’d talk to him about God and he’d even let us pray for him sometimes. Then last year he moved to Tennessee and I honestly thought I’d never see him again.

About 6-8 months ago, he called me – just to tell me that HE GOT SAVED! Praise God! He said that I was like one out of two Christian friends he knew and that God answered our prayers for him. He’s gotten baptised and his girlfriend too – well now she’s his fiance – they’re getting married!

God is so good. Jason is still very radical, and sharing his testimony and Jesus with everyone he sees. Hopefully him and his crew will make it to Reality this Sunday.

Things are getting better… well maybe my circumstances aren’t but the way I’m viewing my circumstances is better. I’m grateful…