Laurie Ishii

Well, I’m planning on going out tonight. I don’t think that it’s going to be raining at 3am. Why, I’m not sure, but Daryl said that he didn’t think it was going to rain either. (Not like he’s the weather man or anything, but…)

Anyways, Daryl and I were talking before going to bed, (I should be asleep right now, but I started writing this) and he mentioned that he should come out with us once in a while, so that people won’t think that he doesn’t care about Kristi and I going out every Saturday at 3am. I told him that it isn’t about that. I asked him what his motive would be for coming out with us. He said, “Because I’m your husband.” I told him that that’s not a good reason for coming out. I mean, his ‘protective, husbandly instinct’ is understandable, but really, if a person doesn’t feel called to go out Рespecially on this outreach Рhe or she shouldn’t go.

I KNOW that I am called to go out on this outreach. Daryl doesn’t particularly have a heart for pimps and prostitutes like I do, which is fine. God hasn’t called everybody to do the same thing or gave us all the same heart for the same type of people.

So then he got to the root of it. He said that if there is ever a time when for some reason Tony doesn’t show up and the only people who do show up are women, he doesn’t want me to go out on the outreach Рto cancel it. He said, “I know that dynamite comes in small packages Рyou’re ‘TNT’ and I feel sorry for the person who crosses you Рbut I still don’t want you to go out at 3am without a guy going with you.”

I felt myself getting irritated. Eeeewww, prideful ‘flesh monster’… (I wasn’t born in a barn yesterday РI lived on the streets all these years, walked the streets at 2 or 3am by myself, have good street smarts and survival ‘training’, etc. etc. etc.)

I said, “Fine, even though I don’t agree with you, I’ll submit to you and respect your wishes.” Silence. Daryl: “You’ll submit to me even though you don’t agree with me?” Me: “Yes.” Daryl: “That’s cool.” Silence. Daryl: “Well, lets say this Рif Tony doesn’t show up or any guys from Short Term Missions doesn’t come out Рcall me, and I’ll come out with you guys.” Me: “Okay, I’ll hold you to it.”

Now to be totally honest, I don’t really know if I even want Daryl to come out with us. But, he is my husband, who I believe God has appointed over me as my ‘protector’ (among many other things) so I will submit to him. I just don’t ever want a persons personal feelings to get involved with an outreach. (I don’t want Daryl to be overprotective of me while were out on outreach) I can be very particular about who will come out with us РI want people who have the right motive for coming out. I don’t want anyone to come out as a ‘lookie-loo’ Рone who just wants to see all the prostitutes to see what it’s like out there, or any ‘macho man’ who’s out to save the world.

This is serious business. I don’t take it lightly. We are, many times Рrisking our lives when we go out there. I really pray about it before I take anyone out with us, and also pick people out to pray, out loud, in a group. I can tell alot about a person by the way they pray. Not to see if they know bible verses or are eloquent in their speech, but to ’see’ and hear their heart.

There are many people who have been totally sheltered all their lives and has never seen anything like what we see every week Рbut their hearts are broken for the girls out there. It’s not about being ’street-wise’ (although I’ll admit that really helps) or having some head knowledge about going out there, but it’s about having God’s heart, and His Spirit.

We go out in the name of our Lord, Jesus Christ. I never go out in my name, my strength, my ability. If I see that someone is full of him or herself and has their own agenda, I won’t take them out with us. I have to be particular РI am responsible for the people who go out with us!

Later… I started writing this at around 9pm, saved it and went to bed. I’m going to finish it now, a little before 2am. It’s not raining, and I’m going to call Kristi in a bit.

I’m pretty tired and sore, and have an appoinment at eleven this morning. I suppose I can rest in the afternoon, after I get home. I realize that I really need to take care of myself before Pastor School. My health is always attacked, especially when I’m already weak and vulnerable physically.

I called Kristi and she’s on her way. Lord, we are your ambassadors. Bless as we go out, and let Your love shine through us in the darkness. Send Your angels to surround us and protect us out there, and Your Holy Spirit to guide and direct us. You’re awesome, Lord!